Up, Down & Natural

6 Ingredients: Week 3

Join the Six Ingredient Challenge hosted by Hobo Mama and Anktangle!

We're on a six-week path to eat more whole foods, guided by one simple rule: Buy foods with six ingredients or fewer. And we're blogging about our journey on the way.

This week we're answering the question: What new foods or recipes have you tried or discovered?

You can see all the responses to this question on February 21 at the link-up post.

To join in the Six Ingredient Challenge anytime during the six weeks, visit the sign-up page for a list of posts and to link up! 

***

For the purpose of this post, let's just all forget for a moment that I was/am trying to go gluten free.  You see, a funny thing happened.  I had never baked bread from scratch before in my life, and then decided to bake a gluten free bread.  I love love loved the process of making and baking the bread...  The gluten free bread itself though was, just okay.  For the hours and hours it takes to make bread I was not okay with having the bread just be edible, especially since I knew what would be in store for me if I did end up baking my own real bread.  So, with zero self control, I went out and bought bread flour, and consulted my Hubby for a recipe he's been asking me to make for quite a while now.  

There is a traditional bread in Nova Scotia, most often just referred to as "Brown Bread", but when not in Nova Scotia, because there are so many types of bread that could be called 'Brown Bread', I refer to it as Nova Scotia Brown Bread, or Nova Scotia Molasses Bread.  It is SO yummy.  If you're going to break a gluten free streak for any reason, you should really consider doing it with this bread!  I top mine with vanilla yogurt for dessert.  It's pure bliss.  And really, as far as desserts go, is really healthy!!  It would easily be a good soup or sandwich bread as well.  Now, there are different recipes that are passed down in different families.  Family recipes are something I take obscenely seriously, so I will mention that this is not the recipe that I followed, but it's a basic version Nova Scotia Brown Bread and will also yield delicious bread!!  As I mentioned it also has molasses in it, which is chock-full of iron!  This bread also freezes very nicely.  The yield is two loaves, so I always keep one on the counter and put one immediately in the freezer.  Ours is never in the freezer much more than 10 to 14 days, but I'd say it would last at least two or three months in the freezer if it was packed right.

 

Without further ado, the recipe!  

Ingredients:

 

1 Cup rolled oats
2 Cups boiling water
2 Tbsp. butter 
1  1/2 tsp. salt
8g. dry yeast (ie: 1 package, or roughly 1 Tbsp. from a jar)
1/2 Cup warm water
1/2 tsp. sugar
1/2 Cup molasses
6 Cups flour

Directions:

I throw all of this in my Kitchen-Aide Mixer, fitted with the dough hook, but you could easily do it by hand also.  In a good sized bowl soak rolled oats, butter, and salt in boiling water.  Mix and let stand until warm, roughly 15 - 20 minutes.  While the oats are soaking, combine yeast, warm water (roughly 110F), and sugar.  Let stand until until foam forms, roughly 10 minutes.  Add your yeast to oats mixture and the 1/2 Cup molasses.  Add 2 Cups of flour first, Mix, and then gradually add 1 Cup of flour at a time, stopping to mix between each one.  If going by hand, knead dough for 10 minutes, if in a mixer kneed for about 5 with your dough hook.  At this point, if using a mixer, turn out on to the counter and kneed by hand just 3 or 4 times to form a round ball with your dough.  (At this point, I let the dough rest for a minute while I wash out the Kitchen-Aide bowl to re-use for the next step.)  Next, grease a bowl with a few drops of oil.  Place dough ball into bowl, and turn twice so ball is coated in oil.  Cover with a damp, rung out kitchen towel and let rise 1 hour or til doubled in size.  Punch dough down.  Kneed again and shape into a log.  Grease two loaf pans.  Split dough in half, shape into 2 loaves and place in greased pans.  Let rise an additional 1 hour, again covered in a clean rung out kitchen towel.  If you'd like to apply an egg wash you can do it at this point.  (In my egg wash, I also toss in a small handful of rolled oats, to stick to the top of the bread as in the picture.)  Bake at 350º 30-40 minutes.  Immediately remove from pans.  Let cool, slice and serve!

 

Enjoy! 

6 Ingredients: Week 2

Join the Six Ingredient Challenge hosted by Hobo Mama and Anktangle!

We're on a six-week path to eat more whole foods, guided by one simple rule: Buy foods with six ingredients or fewer. And we're blogging about our journey on the way.

This week we're answering the question: How is the Six Ingredient Challenge going for you so far?

You can see all the responses to this question on February 14 at the link-up post.

To join in the Six Ingredient Challenge anytime during the six weeks, visit the sign-up page for a list of posts and to link up!

***

How's the 6 Ingredient Challenge going?  Well, you'll remember from my post from week one, I'm taking this challenge a little further than just eating whole foods.  With my acupuncturist's guidance, to combat my endometriosis we have decided to go Gluten Free, Sugar Free and Dairy reduced.  This diet is so widely used for endometriosis it is often refered to as the "Endo Diet" and very successfully used for relief and natural treatment of Endo and PCOS.  

Overall, the new diet is going well!  I'm finding eating with whole foods, is actually quite easy in Victoria.  I'm also finding that I'm eating a lot more fruits and veggies just because it's so easy to reach for them and not have to over think "is this gluten free? dairy free? sugar? how many ingredients is this??"  It's just ONE easy ingredient, and almost all fruits and veggies I can think of are gluten, sugar and dairy free.  (Keep in mind, when going "sugar free" on an endo diet this means refined and cane sugars, so natural sugars in fruits is perfectly acceptable!)

Now, there are a few pit-falls that I'm still learning to combat.  The first is that while I am eating much more fruits and veggies - I'm a bit of a kale and broccoli addict.  Which is great, but veggies are broken down into different groups and the different groups offer you different nutrients.  Broccoli and Kale, pretty well the same group.  What I really need to be focusing on is roping some brighter veggies into my diet as well, such as carrots, tomoatoes, cauliflower, etc. in there.  It's not that I don't like them, I've just fallen into my routie of throwing some steamed broccoli or kale chips on the side of dinner and being satisfied that we're getting our veggies.  This is something I need to make a mental note to break.  Later on the in challenge, when I'm feeling a bit more adventurous I have grand plans of trying to make a gluten free, dairy free Eggplant Chicken No-Parm.  I'll come back and post the recipe here, if that ever ends up happening.  

So, the last "pit-fall" is a bit of a win/loose scenario.  One of the ways I've been tackeling the "Gluten Free", which in the past has been very hard for this pasta addict, is that instead of trying to make things that should have gluten and finding a "gluten free option", I'm instead just choosing to eat foods that do not have gluten in them to begin with.  To that end, I forced myself to try tofu with an open mind... and low and behold!  I actually liked it!!  Luckily for me, the husband has always liked it so it was an easy sell.  And it cooks fast.  Double bonus!!  The only downside...  Here are three different meals we had within the span of 8 days....  

Gluten Free Breaded and Fried Tofu, Quinoa and lightly sautéed tomatoes and green peppers

Fried "Garam Masala" tofu, rice, alfalfa sprouts, kale chips, and left over tomato and green peppers lightly sautéed

Gluten Free Breaded Tofu, My famous Spanish Fried Rice, Lightly cooked kale with garlic and onion

For the love of God, please someone, anyone, give me a tofu recipe that does not call for fried tofu.  I just.  I can't.  I cannot do it anymore.  No. More. Fried. Tofu.  Don't get me wrong, it's delicious, and like I said so fast and easy.  Literally, all of these meals were cooked in 25 minutes or less, and that was mostly because we were waiting on the rice or quinoa.  It's a great weeknight meal, but seriously, there is only so much tofu two people can eat!  

How are you doing on the 6 Ingredient Challenge?  Are you planning on joining in?  Have you ever had too much of a good thing?  Post in the comments with your stories... and seriously, someone please comment with a good non-fried tofu recipe!  ;)  

6 Ingredient Challenge

Join the Six Ingredient Challenge hosted by Hobo Mama and Anktangle!

We're on a six-week path to eat more whole foods, guided by one simple rule: Buy foods with six ingredients or fewer. And we're blogging about our journey on the way.

This week we're answering the question: Why do you want to participate in the Six Ingredient Challenge?

You can see all the responses to this question on February 7 at the link-up post.

To join in the Six Ingredient Challenge anytime during the six weeks, visit the sign-up page for a list of posts and to link up!

***

Why do I want to participate in the Six Ingredient Challenge?  Well, truth be told, I've been eating this way since the begining of the year.  In fact, at the begining of the year I made quite a few changes in terms of diet and excersize.  As I wrote previously, the end of the year is always so tough for those struggling with infertility.  The end of 2012 was no exception.  My husband and I spent a blissful week and a half in the desert of the American Southwest.  Both there, and when we came back I enjoyed myself plenty, getting my full share of yummy sweets, heavy meals, and ofcourse what holiday is complete without sharing a bottle or three of wine?? 

Hubs and I, on The Hoover Dam

 Well, on New Years Day I had coffee with M (The Bestie), and mentioned to her that I didn't know what the heck was wrong with me?  I had no idea why I was being so liberal with my diet and wine consumption when our vacation fell during and after my ovulation - meaning, there was a chance I could have been pregnant.  Now, before you get all up on your high horse (ohh, I can feel the comments pouring in already...) Let me just remind you that millions of women do this all the time, when they are lucky enough to get pregnant without planning, as they're often unaware of the exact day they ovulate.  Knowing these things and how to read your body like a book whether you want to or not, is just another blessing of infertility.  I told M that I felt like garbage for treating my body like this, but at the same time, I've had months and months in the last 5 years where Hubs and I did everything perfect.  Not a calorie out of place, not a morself of junk food or drop of alcohol, fertility herbs and supplements that taste like dirt, and god knows what else... We were perfect, and we still didn't have the results that so many other couples fall into after a sloppy night of Merlot and Mac N' Cheese.  I guess I had just had enough of doing everything right all the time, and was venting these frustrations both about the situation, and about myself and my carelessness to M.  

And just like that, without judgement, without any scolding very matter of factly M said to me "Maybe it's because you're still holding on to some resentment."  Looking back, obviously, I was resentful.  I didn't even realize that I still was.  I went home and just kept thinking about what M said, and knew she was right.  I also knew it wasn't something that I could just stop over night, but it was something I could do something about over night.  And that was that.  It was all I needed to hear to realize that 1) I was holding on to resentment that I had thought I'd let go of, and 2) That resentment was harming no one but me, and only taking me further away from my dreams of a family.  

So that night, January 1st, I had decided to give up alcohol at least until my birthday in March.  I've now decided that I will actually be taking the entire year off of alcohol, with the exception of a glass of Champagne each on my Birthday and Anniversary this year as I'm turning 30, and we're celebrating 5 years of marriage.  I feel both of those occasions call for a little bit of bubbly.  I also booked in again to see my Acupuncturist, whom I love dearly!  She is also quite a bit of a nutrition god, and suggested an "Endo Diet" to manage my endometriosis - basically a Gluten Free, Sugar Free, and Dairy Free diet.  I will say, she guided me to adapt this to suit me and my lifestyle, so I have decided to take this as Gluten Free, Sugar Free and Dairy Reduced.  As I've been adjusting to the new diet, I saw this wonderful 6 Ingredient Challenge pop up by two of my dearest friends and lovely ladies;  Amy of Anktangle and Lauren of Hobo Mama.  So, here I am to blog away the journey over the next 6 weeks!  

Me last year, enjoying post-run endorphins!

The last change I made was getting back in to running.  Just before the IVF I was running quite a bit, but was told to stop during the treatments, and never found the motivation to put my running shoes back on.  Since January 1st this year, I've been running at least 6k a day, getting up to 13k on the weekends.  I found this time to just focus on me, think about the good I'm doing for my body and for our future baby to be truly blissful.  I always feel so connected both to myself, and to our future child after each run.  

 

Through these changes, slowly, I am letting the resentment go.  It is absolutely a day to day task.  A reminder to myself, that my resentment is not felt by anyone other than myself.  I truly believe our child will choose the time and way in which s/he will join us as much as we are choosing to be ready for him or her.  So, with these new changes, I welcome our baby in to our life, and hope that they can feel the love their father and I have for them.  I pray that this love and light that I have been carrying in my heart for the last 5 years spreads through my body and outshines and replaces any negativity, doubt, fear, and resentment.  I make the choice to not have any room for any of that.  I choose to only have room in my heart mind and body, for love, life, and light.

 

So very ready whenever you are, baby!

 

 

Disclaimer:  For the 6 Ingredient Challenge, Amy and Lauren give guidance on how to handle dining out etc. with the challenge.  On Friday of this week, my husband and I will be heading out of town for at least two nights, for me to have surgery. (Post regarding this coming on Wednesday!)  While we will be eating as healthy as possible, and sticking to the rest of our new diet, we won't be worrying about the number of ingredients in our meals while we're away.  

Back At It

Have you ever thought of something, and then just keep thinking about it, and by the time you actually want to act on it you're thought is "Well, I can't do it now!  Now it's just too awkward!"  Like... when someone mispronounces your name, and you don't correct them and then all of a sudden it's been way too long for you to correct them?  Yeah... that's how I've felt about blogging for the past three months.  At first, it was just a little break.  Just a small  "Well, we need some personal time."  ....  Then it was "Well, there's not too much to share..."  followed by,  "I don't really think that's anyone's business but ours..."  and then the "Do I even remember how to blog??"  So.... after three (yes folks, THREE) whole months of not blogging I'm back!!  

And I have to say, it feels awesome!!  2013 is going to be a FABULOUS year for us on so many levels.  So many things already in motion that we're just over the moon about.  But before I delve forward, I'll fill you in on a little of what's been going on over the last three months.  

First off, the end of the year, for me and most couples struggling with infertility, is always a rough time.  This one hit me particularly hard.  Gong-show depression.  In almost 5 years TTC I have to say it was absolutely the worst it's been.  Late fall of 2012, not only was I looking forward to 2013 at my 5th wedding anniversary meaning 5 years TTC with not a baby to show for it, my 30th birthday, and about 3,000 pregnancy announcements that flooded in from all directions.  (Also, Small PSA:  Stop announcing pregnancies at Christmas Parties, people.  Every year I get way too many emails from infertile couples about how much harder it makes an already hard time of year.  I've been victim to this three out of 5 years, and one was *during* a miscarriage.   Seriously, worst way to tell someone who's suffering with infertility you're expecting!  The entire infertility community would really appreciate if we could put an end ot this!)  

 Thankfully, not all people are that thoughtless and two of the announcements we got we were actually really excited about!  This June my sister is expecting her third little bambino and my best friend is expecting her 1st!  It's easy for me to be over the moon about these two pregnancies because not only do both of these women mean the world to me, they were so sensitive in the way they told me, and respected the fact that the news might be hard for me to hear.  I also want to take a second to just give a shout out to my bestie; I don't use other people's names on my blog to respect their privacy, but I flippin' love you!  Not only have I loved being there for you and sharing in the joy of your pregnancy thus far, you've made our journey so much easier in these last few months.  Just having people in our lives who really believe in us, our ability to conceive, and our ability to be great parents without "helpful suggestions" on how to acheive it, has meant more to us than you'll ever know.  It's not even something I really realized how much I needed, because I've never had that until we started sharing more about trying to conceive and pregnancy!  Before I get all sappy, I'll just end on we love you, and you guys are amazing!!  

 And now some snapshots of some of the great things that have been keeping us busy over the last few months: A family wedding, family snuggles with the littles, and a trip across the American Southwest falling in love with the desert and eachother, more every day!

 

Our niece getting Mendhi for the wedding

 

 

Me getting my Mendhi, and the Bride in the background!

 

Some of the girls!

 

My Sister and I :)

 

Hubs enjoying "Uncle Duty"

 

Family

 

Family

 

Me and my love! 

 

Wedding Day, gorgeous Bride in Red

 

Vacay to the Grand Canyon after the wedding

 

At the Grand Canyon

 

En Route to Phoenix

 

Phoenix Dessert. Perfect spot for some fertility meditation!

 

Vegas Baby!

 

Back home Christmas Day. Yes, that is a Wine Cap on my nose, and Yes my Husband is wearing my glasses.

 

Freshen Up Friday ~ Wide Mouth Mason Jar

Welcome to Freshen Up Fridays!  A spot where I take the weekly finds from thrift stores, vintage, or antique stores and really anywhere there is old stuff, and try to breathe new life in to it giving a fun funky twist that suits our home and life style.  Up this week: A Wide Mouth Mason Jar.

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It is very rare {ie: never} that I go into a vintage thrift store and find exactly what I'm looking for.  I've learned that the best way to vintage shop is to keep the bar of expectations low.  When I go in just wanting to waste a little time is always when I find the best and most unique items.  So when I went to the store this week and was thinking, "I hope I find something like a Mason Jar" but was secretly hoping to find a real Mason jar... not just something like it, I was almost certain there was no chance of that happening. 

For starters, as far as I'm concerned, there is only one type of mason jar.  It is the only one that actually says "Mason" in bold on it and {my favorite part} it says "Made in Canada".  Everything else, in my opinion, is just imitation on style and is not a real "Mason Jar".  Especially these darn "Ball Mason Jars" that seem to be everywhere.  Anyways, I'm ranting... When I spotted this beauty I literally just stood back staring at it for a minute trying to feel out if it was really there, or just a figment of my imagination.  Then in a nanosecond I transformed into the seagulls from Finding Nemo and grabbed it.  Check out that price tag!!

I got the inspiration for this project from - where else - Pinterest.  Here's the lovely side by side before and after.

 

The How To:

I knew I wanted to make this into a vase which meant that the paint I chose had to be weather proof since it would often be in contact with water.  Luckily, I still had left over paint from the Retro Dressers, and that paint was actually indoor/ outdoor all weather rust proof paint.  I thought the retro orange would be perfect for the look of the Mason Jar, and added bonus it would be a perfect match to the dressers which is often where I keep fresh flowers when we have them.   

I thought I'd be able to quickly wash the little bit of gunk off the top of the bottle and get straight to painting, but as it turns out you can't just wipe away grease that's been sitting for 40 plus years.  So I soaked in very hot soapy water... 

Then... I got to painting.  Now, as always with spray paint you must wear a really good ventilator over your nose and mouth, and I always choose to wear either my glasses or actual safety goggles as well.  For this project I would actually recommend regular paint from a tin or bottle, not a spray paint, but it's what I had... waste not, want not.  The meathod is the same, but you just have to be more careful and take breaks with spray paint.  Spray as well as you can, directly into the bottom of the jar.  Then, when there's a nice pool of paint at the bottom, lift the jar up and slowly rotate it to evenly coat all the sides of the jar.  Another reason another paint would have been better than spray paint - it's too thin.  If I attempt this again, I'd try it with a good acrylic paint, even the dollar store variety - since the thicker the better.  With acrylic paint, you'd be able to just pop the top back on and flip it upside down letting gravity do the work.  Since my paint was a fair bit thinner, after I let the first coat dry, I did a second coat, and on the second go around did flip upside down so the paint all ran evenly, and got the results I was looking for. 

 

Voila!  This project was so easy and fun, there's no end to what you could create!  With pre-school and older aged children, and safe non-toxic paint, this would make a fabulous afternoon or rainy day activity!!

Freshen Up Friday ~ Retro Dressers

Welcome to the very first installment of Freshen Up Fridays!  A spot where I take the weekly finds from thrift stores, vintage, or antique stores and really anywhere there is old stuff, and try to breathe new life in to it giving a fun funky twist that suits our home and life style.  Up this week: A Retro Tallboy Dresser.

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The Retro Dressers Saga - Part One

The Husband and I have always loved popping in to thrift stores, vintage and antique stores and really anywhere there is old stuff, and poking around for things that you just don't find everywhere anymore.  So developed a new hobby of mine - fixing up old furniture!  Let's get this party started! 

Just about two years ago we made the cross country move from the East Coast of Canada to beautiful British Columbia.  At that time, we made the decision to sell all our furniture that had been following us around from our University days, and just move with what we could fit in our two cars - which was basically not much more than our clothes, a few sentimental things, and our cat.  We ordered the essentials online like a bed, sofa and other things to be waiting for us when we got to our new home (which of course didn't arrive until about a month after...)  In that time, I came about as close to insanity as I hope I'll ever be.  In a moment of total frustration I broke down and bought three secondhand Ikea Rast Dressers for $15 each.  They were as is from Ikea - totally natural, untouched wood.  Pine.  I hate pine.  It's plain.  It's pale.  It looks cold, uninviting, and it's boring.  The second I bought them, I was thinking "I'm going to have to paint these immediately."  ....  and then just two short years later, I finally did!! 

These dressers are tiny, which I do kind of love.  We tossed one on top of the other to create this tallboy style dresser, and kept the other one for a night stand {stay tuned for Part Two in the Saga!}.  I still cannot believe I stared at this for two years straight without saving it from itself.  Without further ado, the side by side Before and After...

The How To: 

While not necessary with untreated solid wood, I did decide to give this piece a quick once over with my electric sander.  I figured with the oils from hands being all over them, dust, dirt, and our cat making out with them for the last two years, it could probably use a light sanding.  Being untreated, and wanting it smooooth for the stain and paint I was going to toss on it I chose to go with 220 grit sandpaper. 

At first my vision for this dresser was a just a classic dark stain wood dresser.  I chose to go with Minwax, Polyshades in Bombay Mahogany.  It's a two in one stain and cuts out the step of having to apply polyurethane over stain.  Totally within my comfort zone, and the sort of thing I am always drawn to when buying furniture... not necessarily because I love it, it's just classic and comfortable.  Then, I made a rookie mistake the first go around - I did not remove hardware, and I did not remove the drawers from the dresser.  And you can tell this because the stain across the front of the first set of drawers is drippy (because it was standing up right) and is not smooth across the center (because I was staining around knobs). 

When it was done, and I stood back to check out the first dresser completed, I liked it.  For my first attempt I figured the mistakes were easy ones to learn from, and it was an okay piece.  But I didn't have the head over heels "Oh.my.god. I love it" reaction that I was very much expecting and hoping for.  With a little encouragement from my hubby wanting something "bright" and "funky", I figured it's a $15 dresser, I may as well step outside of my comfort zone a little.  So I went to the local hardware store, and bought one can of primer, and one can of bright orange spray paint...  and went to work on the second dresser.  

Again, I started with a light sanding.  This time I did take the knobs off, and popped the drawers out of the dresser and upright so there would be no drip marks.  I slapped it with a quick coat of primer.  

Then slapped with some orange colour.  As soon as that first blast of orange paint hit the primer, I knew I hit gold!  Immediately, I loved it!!  Something about this shade of orange totally reminded me of 1970's disco orange.  I love love loved it. 

With the drawer pulls out, I got the inspiration to actually change them all together.  I choose this great iron pull, that I loved the finish of.  The orange rust colour shine in the knob I felt, went perfectly with the new woody orange dresser.  With the original wood ones I had removed, I slapped a coat of orange on them and tossed them back into the Mahogany stain drawers and then just mix and matched the drawers so that they'd be alternating. 

Two years later I finally have the dresser that I love and when it was done I definitely had that "Oh.my.god, I LOVE it!" feeling.  I'm really glad the first stage of the dresser transformation didn't go totally as planned, as I now have the inspiration I needed to really push myself out of my comfort zone!   

Et Voila! 

   

The only downside is that it does now take me slightly longer to get dressed in the morning, as I've been stopping to admire the dresser before pulling the clothes out!  ;)  

Off The Hook

Welcome to the October 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting:

Instilling a Healthy Self-Image

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared confessions, wisdom, and goals for helping children love who they are. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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It is amazing to me how many times I've held myself accountable for things that are absolutely out of my control.  What I find even more surprising is that I am by no means alone.  The more I look around, the more I see people and specifically women, doing this to themselves.  Where I am most guilty of this in my own life is throughout our journey through infertility.  I tried it all.  Literally, everything from "seeing what happens", to charting temps, to not trying, to homeopathic and naturopathic medicines, to acupuncture, to taking vacations to take our minds off it, to clomid, to chinese herbs and remedies, some more not trying, a few surgeries, and finally pulling out the big guns for our most recent IVF.  I can honestly say through it all, while I was beyond frustrated, especially learning about the endometriosis 3 years in to our journey, I somehow was able to separate that frustration from feeling anger towards my own body, and I really have wondered why that is. 

In speaking with other women experiencing infertility almost all of them would tell me how much they literally hated their bodies, and the frustration and anguish of not being able to physically do something that so many others achieve without hardly thinking about it.  While I fiercely felt the bitterness, jealousy, anger and sadness of it happening so easily for others, I simply never really pushed those emotions on to how I felt about or saw my body.  I think it's important to reflect on these distinctions and feelings, so we can be able to speak to them and help women we love around us, who may be internalizing these same feelings - regardless of the reasoning for it. 

 

Photo Credit: Author. Saw this gem in a thrift store and was thisclose to buying it, if only it didn't terrify me so much!

The only thing I can really point to is an absent minded comment exchanged with my dad years and years ago as a little girl.  I'm a girly girl.  I always have been, always will be, to the core.  I remember playing make-up with my floating head baribe doll  {why was I not more terrified of this thing!} and as I brushed her hair and applied fake blush to her cheeks I was telling her over and over how beautiful she is.  I cannot for the life of me remember his exact words, but I remember my dad saying something to the effect of "Barbie doesn't have anything on you.  She's not my daughter."  And that was that.  Right then and there I decided I was more beautiful than Barbie - and all because I was my father's daughter.  Just a pure stroke of luck. 

 

Throughout our fertility struggles I was really bothered by the fact that everywhere we looked there seemed to be people who without even wanting it, seemed to fall not so gracefully into parenthood, while my husband and I just kept thinking of different things the spare room would be good for, if not a nursery.  As we were embarking on our IVF, another aquaintance announced their pregnancy only a few months after openly talking about wanting to split up.  Again I decided, just as clearly as the day I decided I was prettier than Barbie - that I was done wondering what we could do differently, and I just decided to let myself off the hook.  As much as I desperately wanted to get pregnant and welcome our child in to our family, I just know this too will come down to sheer luck.   

I guess, in the end it all comes down to Baz Luhrmann's advice about two minutes and 35 seconds in:  "Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.  Your choices are half chance.  So are everybody else's." 

 

 

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by afternoon October 9 with all the carnival links.)

• Why I Walk Around Naked — Meegs at A New Day talks about how she embraces her own body so that her daughter might embrace hers.
• What I Am Is Not Who I Am — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses her views on the importance of modeling WHO she is for her daughter and not WHAT she sees in the mirror.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Verbs vs. Adjectives — Alisha at Cinnamon & Sassafras tries hard to compliment what her son does, not who he is.
• The Naked Family — Sam at Love Parenting talks about how nudity and bodily functions are approached in her home.
• How She'll See Herself — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis discusses some of the challenges of raising a daughter in our culture and how she's hoping to overcome them.
• Self Esteem and all it's pretty analogies — Musings from Laura at Pug in the Kitchen on what she learned about self-esteem in her own life and how it applies to her parenting.
• Beautiful — Tree at Mom Grooves writes about giving her daughter the wisdom to appreciate her body and how trying to be a role model taught Tree how to appreciate her own.
• Do As I Say, Not As I Do: Nurturing A Healthy Body Image — Christy at Eco Journey in the Burbs is changing perceptions about her body so that she may model living life with a positive, healthy body image for her three young daughters.
• Some{BODY} to Love — Kate Wicker has faced her own inner demons when it comes to a poor body image and even a clinical eating disorder, and now she wants to help her daughters to be strong in a world that constantly puts girls at risk for losing their true selves. This is Kate's love letter to her daughters reminding them to not only accept their bodies but to accept themselves as well in every changing season of life.
• They Make Creams For That, You Know — Destany at They Are All of Me writes about celebrating her natural beauty traits, especially the ones she passed onto her children.
• New Shoes for Mama — Kellie of Our Mindful Life, guest posting at Natural Parents Network, is getting some new shoes, even though she is all grown up…
• Raising boys with bodily integrity — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants her boys to understand their own bodily autonomy — so they'll respect their own and others'.
• Sowing seeds of self-love in our children — After struggling to love herself despite growing up in a loving family, Shonnie at Heart-Led Parenting has suggestions for parents who truly want to nurture their children's self-esteem.
• Subtle Ways to Build a Healthy Self-Image — Emily at S.A.H.M i AM discusses the little things she and her husband do every day to help their daughter cultivate a healthy self-image.
• On Barbie and Baby Bikinis: The Sexualization of Young Girls — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger finds it difficult to keep out the influx of messages aimed at her young daughters that being sexy is important.
• Undistorted — Focusing on the beauty and goodness that her children hold, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children watches them grow, loved and undistorted.
• Off The Hook — Arpita at Up, Down and Natural sheds light on the journey of infertility, and how the inability to get pregnant and stay pregnant takes a toll on self image…only if you let it. And that sometimes, it feels fantastic to just let yourself off the hook.
• Going Beyond Being An Example — Becky at Old New Legacy discusses three suggestions on instilling healthy body image: positivity, family dinners, and productivity.
• Raising a Confident Kid — aNonymous at Radical Ramblings describes the ways she's trying to raise a confident daughter and to instil a healthy attitude to appearance and self-image.
• Instilling a Healthy Self Image — Laura at This Mama's Madness hopes to promote a healthy self-image in her kids by treating herself and others with respect, honesty, and grace.
• Stories of our Uniqueness — Casey at Sesame Seed Designs looks for a connection to the past and celebrates the stories our bodies can tell about the present.
• Helping My Boy Build a Healthy Body Image — Lyndsay at ourfeminist{play}school offers readers a collection of tips and activities that she uses in her journey to helping her 3-year-old son shape a healthy body image.
• Eat with Joy and Thankfulness: A Letter to my Daughters about Food — Megan at The Boho Mama writes a letter to her daughters about body image and healthy attitudes towards food.
• Helping Our Children Have Healthy Body Images — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares information about body image, and her now-adult daughter tells how she kept a healthy body image through years of ballet and competitive figure skating.
• Namaste — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how at barely 6 years old, her daughter has begun to say, "I'm not beautiful." And while it's hard to listen to, she also sees it as a sign her daughter is building her self-image in a grassroots kind of way.
• 3 Activities to Help Instill a Healthy Self-Image in Your Child — Explore the changing ideals of beauty, create positive affirmations, and design a self-image awareness collage. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares these 3 ideas + a pretty affirmation graphic you can print and slip in your child's lunchbox.
• Beautiful, Inside and Out — It took a case of adult-onset acne for Kat of MomeeeZen to find out her parenting efforts have resulted in a daughter that is truly beautiful, inside and out.
• Mirroring Positive Self Image for Toddlers — Shannon at GrowingSlower reflects on encouraging positive self image in even the youngest members of the family.
• How I hope to instill a healthy body image in my two girls — Raising daughters with healthy body image in today's society is no small task, but Xela at The Happy Hippie Homemaker shares how choosing our words carefully and being an example can help our children learn to love their bodies.
• Self Image has to Come from Within — Momma Jorje shares all of the little things she does to encourage healthy attitudes in her children, but realizes she can't give them their self images.
• Protecting the Gift — JW from True Confessions of a Real Mommy wants you to stop thinking you need to boost your child up: they think they are wonderful all on their own.
• Learning to Love Myself, for my Daughter — Michelle at Ramblings of Mitzy addresses her own poor self-image.
• Nurturing An Innate Sense of Self — Marisa at Deliberate Parenting shares her efforts to preserve the confidence and healthy sense of self they were born with.
• Don't You Love Me, Mommy?: Instilling Self-Esteem in Young Children After New Siblings Arrive — Jade at Seeing Through Jade Glass But Dimly hopes that her daughter will learn to value herself as an individual rather than just Momma's baby
• Exercising is FUN — Amy W. at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work talks about modeling for her children that exercising is FUN and good for body and soul.
• Poor Little Chicken — Kenna at A Million Tiny Things gets her feathers ruffled over her daughter's clothing anxiety.
• Loving the skin she's in — Mama Pie at Downside Up and Outside In struggles with her little berry's choice not to celebrate herself and her heritage.
• Perfect the Way I Am — Erika at Cinco de Mommy struggles — along with her seven-year-old daughter — at telling herself she's perfect just the way she is.

The Only Person I'm Embarrassed For Is You

Anyone who knows anything about me at all, knows that I am inordinately honest and open about our infertility struggles.  There is literally not a question in the world people cannot ask me about what we've been through to bring our babies home.  There is not a question that has ever offended me.  Some that have surprised me yes, but never offended me.  There's never been a single question asked that I didn't want to answer.  The main reason for this is that the more people talk openly about infertility the less taboo it becomes - and that is something I desperately want for the sake of the younger women whom I love, and frankly the ones that I don't even know.  The ones who aren't even thinking about marriage or babies right now.  I hope none of them can ever relate to our struggles - but if one day in the future they can, I want them to live in a world that gets the struggle and is supportive of it and understands that it's no one's "fault" - just like cancer is no one's fault - it just sucks all to hell.

There is one question that always surprises me, no matter how many times I am asked it.  Every few months some one will ask me something along the lines of "Are you ever embarrassed about how long you've been trying?"  Honestly, there are a lot of emotions I feel when I think about the four years we've spent trying to create our family.  Embarrassment is not even close to any of those emotions.  Not even in the same ballpark.  

You and Dad wanted me HOW much?!!?

What always amazes me is that these questions almost always come from people who, not so elegantly, stumble in to parenthood in ways that I would be embarrassed about.  Recently a friend of mine had a piece of jewelry made to honour her embryos created through an IVF cycle.  On the piece there were various charms with the dates of her embryo transfers.  She then told me that she liked it but now seeing it was a little worried that it was too obvious.  My heart immediately ached for her, because honestly...  there's no such thing as "too obvious" when there's nothing to hide.  My response to her was the same as it always is when people with infertility ask me about overly sharing about their journey...  I told her "I think it's amazing, and honestly.... if people can proudly announce they got drunk and knocked up - I'm sure as hell not going to be embarrassed to say that long before conception, we loved our kids so much their dad and I went through hell and back together to make it happen." 

To be clear, I'm not at all saying that people who have unplanned pregnancies don't love their children as much, or don't value their pregnancies.  In fact, just the opposite.  Nothing has been more infuriating for me than having to listen to friends or acquaintances talk about how it's the wrong time, the wrong guy, or how ridiculously unprepared they are for it... all the while knowing that in a few short months these people are going to fall so hopelessly head over heels in love into the best blessing of their lives that none of the concerns that cross their worried minds are going to matter.  Not in the least.  

So to all the women and couples who have known the road that my hubby and I are on: Celebrate!  Celebrate every single minute you spend planning for your baby.  Celebrate every pregnancy test you take, regardless of the result.  Celebrate every RE appointment, every embryo conceived, every minute of this journey.  Celebrate the fact that one day, when your child asks you the story of where they came from, you can tell them a story of love, partnership, dedication, perseverance, and most importantly wanting, and the knowledge that there was a place in your heart that only they could fill.  That is the most precious gift we will give our children.  

So frankly, No, I'm not embarrassed.  It's pretty hard to feel embarrassed when you're this proud of yourself, your husband, your marriage and the incredible strength you draw from adversity.  

 

French Fries and Diaper Blowouts ~ A Carnival Guest Post!

Welcome to the second edition of the "I'm a Natural Parent - BUT..." Carnival This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and our feminist {play}school. During this carnival our participants have focused on how mainstream society has affected their natural parenting and how they have come to peace with this. 

I am thrilled to host an anonymous guest post for this carnival, telling it like it is!  Enjoy!  Read through and please scroll to the bottom for other great {and inspiring} mamas, who know it's all about balance and keeping it real.

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We are a natural, peaceful, all-together crunchy family.  We thrive on a diet of organic, minimally-processed and grass-fed real food.  We homeschool our preschooler, spend lots of time in nature, and cloth diaper exclusively.  We exist happily somewhere far outside the mainstream.

That is, 345 days out of the year.  About 4 times per year, my family’s business hosts large conventions at an area hotel.  These last from a Friday through the following Tuesday, and during that time all bets are off!  My two-and-a-half year old daughter hangs out in the hotel room with a wonderful sitter and her three year old son.  They watch cartoons, play iPhone games and stay up way past bedtime.  With all the stress of disrupted routines, pretty much anything that will keep them happy and not in immediate danger, is fair game.

 

Photo Credit: Author

Then there’s the food.  Oooh, the food.  Waffles, hash browns and bacon (yes, BACON!) at the hotel’s complimentary breakfast.  Lunch comes either from the hotel restaurant or the Italian place down the street.  Regardless of the source, there are somehow always French fries.  Dinner is catered by the hotel for our convention attendees.

 

Remember when I mentioned we cloth diaper exclusively?  Yep, that applies to convention weekends too.  A trademark of these weekends is the horrifying diapers that result from junk food.  I’m surprised they’ve never evacuated the building.  There is just something about French fries in particular, more than pizza or ice cream or bacon, that produces the kind of diaper horror scene that calls for hazmat suits and an industrial air purifier.  For the record, it doesn’t bother the toddler.  In fact, she finds it hilarious.  Kids and poop I guess!

How can we improve this?  I’m not really sure.  This last workshop weekend, we brought lots of food.  Fruits, veggies, peanut butter, etc. for healthy snacks.  Ultimately, the kids still want a warm, freshly cooked meal.  Also breakfast and dinner doesn't cost us anything, and we have to watch our pennies carefully when the weekend already has a big price tag.

Overall, I’m okay with it.  We can be the queen, king and princess of crunchy 95% of the year.  The little one can have a weekend-long taste of mainstream culture and have a blast with her best friend.  In the end, it's all about balance.

~ Anonymous

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This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys. Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• I'm a Natural Parent- BUT... - Carrie at Frugal Foodie Mama says "We breastfeed. We co-sleep. We babywear. But we do not cloth diaper. This post is about my reasons why I haven't, and why I would still like to try it."
• Am I Really a Natural Parent? - Valerie at Momma in Progress confesses maybe she's a bit more mainstream than she thought.
• I'm a Crunchy Mama, BUT... - Shannon at GrowingSlower has learned that her food doesn't grow on grocery store shelves, but she still has a long way to go.
• I'm a Natural Parent, but...my kid loves a screen - Lyndsay owns her son's love for television programming, ipad and apps.
• Ashamed to Breastfeed - Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about how she was ashamed and intimidated to breastfeed in public.
• When they gotta go... - Jorje of Momma Jorje shares her EC weakness...
• Love For the Mainstream - Amy W. explains how letting a mainstream family into her life increased her self-awareness, and helps her to maintain balance while advocating for natural parenting.
• Weaning My Nursling - Alisha at Cinnamon&Sassafras reflects on her decision to wean her son, rather than waiting for him to decide.
• I'm a Natural Parent But...My Toddler is a Junk Food Junkie - Chanisa at City Girl Slash Hippie Mom talks about how she's trying to get her two year old to have healthier eating habits
• I'm a Natural Parent - But...I'm Socially Awkward - Shannon of The Artful Mama talks about the difficulties she experiences maintaining her conviction when she experiences social resistance.
• Holding onto connection when traveling - Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to respect her children rather than demand obedience … but it's so hard around family.
• What would the neighbours think?! - Teresa at This Savvy Mama talks about the pressures of balancing life skills with the realities of having two young children.
• French Fries and Diaper Blowouts - Arpita hosts a guest post detailing how, just every once in a while, the chaos of running a business can hamper even the most regimented natural parenting plans, and the sometimes messy (and stinky!) consequences!
• Confessions of a mostly natural parent - Jessica of Crunchy Chewy Mama feels good about many of the choices she makes but there are things she wants her kids to do, practice, and believes that she is not modeling for them.

Trust Me! I Saw This On Pinterest!

Hello.  My name is Arpita.  I'm a Pinterest Junkie.  My last time on Pinterest was .004 seconds ago.  (Well, not even really, because I still have it open in another window...)  Pinterest has come under fire a little in the last few weeks being called yet another tool for women to judge themselves by, feel less creative, less mothering, less sexy, less home-maker etc...  And to these people, I say "No one and nothing can make you feel badly about yourself unless you want to beleive those things."  

Yes, there are some really creative and incredible things on Pinterest that I will never be able to do.  Do I give a damn?  Hell no.  I see Pinterest for what it is - a good resource to get ideas of things that acutally fit with the life my husband and I love to live.  Do I sometimes aspire to more?  Yes, and Pinterest gives me creative ideas for things that are downright awesome, but still are just real.  When I joined I did see the potential of going "Pin-Crazy", so I joined mentally telling myself to ONLY pin things that I could see myself doing or using.  A few friends have asked me what Pinterest is all about, and that is normally what I tell them...  Go in to it with a plan of how to use it, don't get swayed by the Glitz.    

Since I decided to only Pin stuff I was going to eventually create / do or come back to and read for inspiration...  Here are some of my Pinspiration creations!  Enjoy!    

 

DIY Fish Eye Glass Holder

 

I looove my fish eye glass holder!!  I wear glasses.  I also, however work a desk job and do not like to wear my glasses when I'm looking at a computer screen.  So instead of just leaving them laying on my desk to be shuffled around, Mr. Fishy wears them for me while I work.  And honestly, I must say, he does look dapper in them!!  I saw it on Pinterest and it was orignally linked to a store.  But looking at it, I knew I could make it a DIY.  The hardest part was finding the fish body that was made of solid wood.  It took me practically 4 months of searching but then I finally found one at a local craft store.  I used hubby's hand held sander on it's edge to create the groove where the glass ear peices could fold in to. Then, because the space was so small I had to use sand paper by hand to smooth it all out.... for. freakin. ever.  Finally, the fun began and I started painting.  The whole time, I thought I was going to make this little guy into a clown fish.  Something carried me in this direction though, and he's my happy little Trigger Fish.  I love!  

 

Nail Polish Keys - Sometimes The Genius Level is Unreal!

Hubby and I have identical key rings, with identical looking keys on them, and been having an issue of constantly grabbing each other's keys and heading out the door.  This would be fine, if we didn't both have keys to our own offices on our key rings that just happen to look alike, but are in fact totally different.  I'm almost shocked that I had to see this on Pinterest before doing it, considering the insane obsession I have with nail polish and giving myself maincures.  This has been a sanity saver for us.  And now, my keys are so PRETTY!  I'd totally be lying if I said I didn't secretly love when I paint my nails in one of the above China Glaze colors.  What says co-ordination more than a manicure that matches your keys??!  Nothing, that's what!  

 

Bacon Pancakes

For the above, like many things on Pinterest, my first reaction was "WTF?  People are crazy!"  Then I remembered that I married one of them, and he would LOVE this.  So, I made it for breakfast and it was a HUGE hit!  Hubby loves these bacon pancakes.  I tend to prefer my bacon on the crispy side which is hard to do when it's covered in soft fluffy pancake, so I'll be totally honest... I'm not crazy about them.  But, it makes the man happy... so Saturday mornings I normally throw a strip of bacon into a pancake or two for him and make mine plain or blueberry.  Yum!!   

 

Wine Organization!

 

Truth be told, I actually didn't get this idea on Pinterest, but I have seen similar things on there so in the post it goes!  A few years ago for my birthday a friend got me a dish full of gravel and really nice make-up brushes that you store in the dish of gravel.  I love it, it's gorgeous and keeps my brushes really well organized.  When the Home Deco place below my office building was going out of business I snagged this wine glass for $1!!  When the lady at the store asked me if I was sure I didn't want more than one, my response of "Oh yeah, it's just for my desk at work..."  probably could have used a little more explanation.  The look on her face was totally worth it though!  Combine with Dollar store deco gravel, et voila!  Handy place to shove all your stuff while making your space a little more personal! 

What Pinsipres you?